Random;

Me: *talking to Ray on my cell phone*
*my house phone starts ringing*
Ray: "dude, why are you making that noise ?"
Me: "dude ! thats my house phone ringing, you retard !"

Me: "if I had a puppy, I'd name it Paramore if its a girl and Cullen if its a boy."
Ray: "what if it was in between ? like a tranvestite dog ? what would you name it ?"
Me: "are there such things as tranny animals ? eww."
Ray: "c'mon, if there were, what would you name it ?"
Me: "maybe I'd combine Cullen and Paramore and-"
Ray: "Matthew."
Me: "what ? mathew ?"
Ray: "I dont know it just came to me, man."

IM-ing Yukesh.
[ michelle ] says: I started skating. dont laugh
[ ]901™ૐ says: why would i? im all bout doing things u love. remember when u used to sit in interesting places? i supported u right (= (inside joke)
[ michelle ] says: If you werent so funny, I would beat you to death with my skateboard
[ ]901™ૐ says: owh dayum. skate board? i can barely stand on one
[ michelle ] says: I couldnt really balance on it at first either. I taught myself to skate eventually tho, without falling.
[ ]901™ૐ says: wow im impressed
[ michelle ] says: you should be, I learned in one night
[ ]901™ૐ says: then its probably not that hard LOL
[ michelle ] says: grrrr, I really wanna smack you
[ ]901™ૐ says: ok la. I know. its hard la. yay for michelle and her low centre of gravity
[ michelle ] says: HHAHAHAHAHAHA. gimme a sec
[ ]901™ૐ says: ill give u 36 just in case.

He cracks me up like an egg on the floor.